I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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