i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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