margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
