so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
