That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
