turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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