Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
