There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
