I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize