what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
