One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
COCAINE IS GR8
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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