Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize