She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
