Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
