I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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