69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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