when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize