what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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