Plan B is the new Plan A
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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