I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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