bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
