Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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