Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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