I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
