Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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