In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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