and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
