The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
