I just cut my nipple shaving
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize