I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
