I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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