Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm passing your future prison.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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