I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
