Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
