I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
