So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize