How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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