Kiss
Puke
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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