Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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