if you like me you must not know who I am
Your face is a jimmy john
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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