They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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