I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
