Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
