next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
