I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
