it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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