I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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