would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
