some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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