I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
