It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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