I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
