and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize