Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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