i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
