Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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