she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
