TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
