Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I currently don't understand fingers.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
