Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
