My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
