We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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