as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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