Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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