I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
