Don't you send me to vm
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
