when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
